Catch 22
I did not have the energy to write an update last week. Thank you to those who contacted me. I appreciate your concern. If you don't hear from me over the weekend, whether it be that I don't blog, answer the phone, return a text, or leave my house (lol), you can know that I'm having a rough go of it. Prayers are always appreciated.
By God's grace, I got through the first shot just fine. I was a bit edgy all day and do hope I was kind to my IRLs. Thanks for giving me lots of grace and space right now. It is a trying season.
Once I was able to jump the mental hurdle, the shot was not a big deal at all.
After the meds hit my system, though, I felt very weary, a bit dizzy, and unfocused. I was not actively sick; however, I could not find anything that I could do other than lie still. It made my brain hurt to try to read, write, lesson plan, grade papers, etc. I was physically too weak to do housework. The dizziness ruled out most activities. Even just going outside to listen to birds did not appeal to me.
The silver lining is that I can use the time to pray, so if you have any requests, please send them my way.
I can also listen to audio recordings. I have a few favorite ministries which frequently post sermons and lectures. I have listened to a few of those. I have also been able to hear a few sermons that I have missed at my own church due to my chemo adventure. Additionally, my Kindle has a setting that will read most of my print books to me.
I've listened to A LOT of books in recent weeks.
If you have any good suggestions for what I can listen to on Fridays, please comment! I would love to hear from you.
Now, here's some interesting news: This week I will not take my methotrexate shot.
Friday before bedtime, I started sneezing. On Saturday, my nose was a little stuffy. By bedtime that night, I was running a fever. And... by Monday, I had an inner-ear infection.
That's life with an auto-immune disease.
Since I am on antibiotics to fight the infection, I cannot take the meds to suppress my immune system unless, as my doctor put it, I want to be in the hospital by Saturday.
What a Catch 22!
Your body is too busy fighting a civil war to engage an actual invader... therefore you are much more likely to catch colds... but you must take immunosuppressive meds so your vital organs aren't damaged by your wacky immune system... but now stop taking them because your immune response is too slow to fight off infection... okay, now take them again... must. protect. vitals... oh, wait, there's more infection... time to stop... time to start... time to stop... time to start... time to...
Sigh.
Pray for me as I navigate this thing by faith. I am thankful that God is sovereign, that He has ordained this, and that He is working it for His glory and the good of the church. I am so glad that I don't have to cope with such frustrating circumstances alone but have his grace and his Spirit and the help of his Body, my brothers and sisters in Christ. I'm thankful that there are reasons for this that I can see and understand and will reap the benefit of in this life. I am also thankful that there is more at work in this situation than I can ever grasp in this life, and that one day, I will receive a perfected, resurrection body along with full understanding.
One day, He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. (Rev 21:4)
What a great day that will be!
Thanks for praying,
By God's grace, I got through the first shot just fine. I was a bit edgy all day and do hope I was kind to my IRLs. Thanks for giving me lots of grace and space right now. It is a trying season.
Once I was able to jump the mental hurdle, the shot was not a big deal at all.
After the meds hit my system, though, I felt very weary, a bit dizzy, and unfocused. I was not actively sick; however, I could not find anything that I could do other than lie still. It made my brain hurt to try to read, write, lesson plan, grade papers, etc. I was physically too weak to do housework. The dizziness ruled out most activities. Even just going outside to listen to birds did not appeal to me.
The silver lining is that I can use the time to pray, so if you have any requests, please send them my way.
I can also listen to audio recordings. I have a few favorite ministries which frequently post sermons and lectures. I have listened to a few of those. I have also been able to hear a few sermons that I have missed at my own church due to my chemo adventure. Additionally, my Kindle has a setting that will read most of my print books to me.
I've listened to A LOT of books in recent weeks.
If you have any good suggestions for what I can listen to on Fridays, please comment! I would love to hear from you.
Now, here's some interesting news: This week I will not take my methotrexate shot.
Friday before bedtime, I started sneezing. On Saturday, my nose was a little stuffy. By bedtime that night, I was running a fever. And... by Monday, I had an inner-ear infection.
That's life with an auto-immune disease.
Since I am on antibiotics to fight the infection, I cannot take the meds to suppress my immune system unless, as my doctor put it, I want to be in the hospital by Saturday.
What a Catch 22!
Your body is too busy fighting a civil war to engage an actual invader... therefore you are much more likely to catch colds... but you must take immunosuppressive meds so your vital organs aren't damaged by your wacky immune system... but now stop taking them because your immune response is too slow to fight off infection... okay, now take them again... must. protect. vitals... oh, wait, there's more infection... time to stop... time to start... time to stop... time to start... time to...
Sigh.
Pray for me as I navigate this thing by faith. I am thankful that God is sovereign, that He has ordained this, and that He is working it for His glory and the good of the church. I am so glad that I don't have to cope with such frustrating circumstances alone but have his grace and his Spirit and the help of his Body, my brothers and sisters in Christ. I'm thankful that there are reasons for this that I can see and understand and will reap the benefit of in this life. I am also thankful that there is more at work in this situation than I can ever grasp in this life, and that one day, I will receive a perfected, resurrection body along with full understanding.
One day, He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. (Rev 21:4)
What a great day that will be!
Thanks for praying,
Praying for you! Your faith in this trial is such an encouragement to me, dear friend. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kellie. I should have mentioned how good it was to listen to all the beautiful hymns you posted. I know I've told you that but there is an audience (albeit very small) here who could benefit from your series. :)
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