Ups and Downs
This has been a week of ups and downs.
There have been some really good moments when I think the chemo is starting to help. When I have a good day, it is much better than my good days were before.
However, I am still having bad days, and they are really, really bad.
On Friday, I took Ben and Brian bird watching. That's not as strenuous as it sounds. I drove them to a nearby dam (about 20 minutes from my house), and we sat in the car with the heat running and scanned the water. If we saw something really interesting, we stepped out of the car for a couple minutes to take a closer look. It was mostly a day of sitting with a little driving in between.
After birding, we went to my parents' house to visit (and so my mom could sew on a karate patch because sewing machines and I don't get along). About an hour before we needed to leave, a sudden wave of nausea and dizziness came over me. Michael had to come to their house to pick the boys up to take them to their karate lesson on time, while I stretched out and rested for a couple hours. I was finally able to drive myself home in time to take my shot before bed.
The same weird thing happened last week. We went to church on Thursday to hear a missionary speak. Halfway through his presentation, I felt terrible pains in my abdomen and was so dizzy I could barely hold my head up. As soon as he was finished speaking, I gave Michael the we-need-to-go-now signal and we sped home so I could stretch out before I passed out.
So, I'm calling my doctor on Monday because I am probably going to have to change chemo. That is really disheartening. I've already had to stop and restart so many times. I am one determined person whose general life strategy is to keep moving forward and work through it. However, I am not supposed to be having this much trouble. I'm realizing that I'm not being determined and working through difficult circumstances as much as I'm being bullheaded and refusing to change course. These side effects aren't going away, and changing course is probably what needs to happen.
Please pray we will be able to find the right treatment for me. There are other chemo options, and before I began the injections, my doctor told me changing meds was a possibility, particularly because I did not respond well to the oral version of methotrexate.
Also, would you please pray for my dear friend, Heather? Her father was diagnosed with esophageal cancer this time last year, successfully battled it, and then while in remission developed leukemia (just three weeks ago). It was a very aggressive form, and he went to be with the Lord yesterday, only hours after his diagnosis. Her father loves the Lord, was witnessing to others in his final coherent moments, and is in His presence now. All of us who love him are rejoicing for that; however, the loss still hurts and is particularly hard for the family given the circumstances.
Pray, too, for a family who also lost their husband and father yesterday, suddenly and unexpectedly. They are members of the homeschool support group I am in, and today is one of the children's 10th birthday.
We are so sorry for your losses, dear ones. We are praying for the Lord to comfort you. You and your loved ones are precious to us, but more importantly, God loves you and cares for you.
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. (Psalm 116:15)
Thank you for praying.
There have been some really good moments when I think the chemo is starting to help. When I have a good day, it is much better than my good days were before.
However, I am still having bad days, and they are really, really bad.
On Friday, I took Ben and Brian bird watching. That's not as strenuous as it sounds. I drove them to a nearby dam (about 20 minutes from my house), and we sat in the car with the heat running and scanned the water. If we saw something really interesting, we stepped out of the car for a couple minutes to take a closer look. It was mostly a day of sitting with a little driving in between.
After birding, we went to my parents' house to visit (and so my mom could sew on a karate patch because sewing machines and I don't get along). About an hour before we needed to leave, a sudden wave of nausea and dizziness came over me. Michael had to come to their house to pick the boys up to take them to their karate lesson on time, while I stretched out and rested for a couple hours. I was finally able to drive myself home in time to take my shot before bed.
The same weird thing happened last week. We went to church on Thursday to hear a missionary speak. Halfway through his presentation, I felt terrible pains in my abdomen and was so dizzy I could barely hold my head up. As soon as he was finished speaking, I gave Michael the we-need-to-go-now signal and we sped home so I could stretch out before I passed out.
So, I'm calling my doctor on Monday because I am probably going to have to change chemo. That is really disheartening. I've already had to stop and restart so many times. I am one determined person whose general life strategy is to keep moving forward and work through it. However, I am not supposed to be having this much trouble. I'm realizing that I'm not being determined and working through difficult circumstances as much as I'm being bullheaded and refusing to change course. These side effects aren't going away, and changing course is probably what needs to happen.
Please pray we will be able to find the right treatment for me. There are other chemo options, and before I began the injections, my doctor told me changing meds was a possibility, particularly because I did not respond well to the oral version of methotrexate.
Also, would you please pray for my dear friend, Heather? Her father was diagnosed with esophageal cancer this time last year, successfully battled it, and then while in remission developed leukemia (just three weeks ago). It was a very aggressive form, and he went to be with the Lord yesterday, only hours after his diagnosis. Her father loves the Lord, was witnessing to others in his final coherent moments, and is in His presence now. All of us who love him are rejoicing for that; however, the loss still hurts and is particularly hard for the family given the circumstances.
Pray, too, for a family who also lost their husband and father yesterday, suddenly and unexpectedly. They are members of the homeschool support group I am in, and today is one of the children's 10th birthday.
We are so sorry for your losses, dear ones. We are praying for the Lord to comfort you. You and your loved ones are precious to us, but more importantly, God loves you and cares for you.
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. (Psalm 116:15)
Thank you for praying.
This kind of post just takes your breath away. Sending prayers to The Almighty for all of you.
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Thank you for your prayers, Kellie. I know God is bottling a lot of tears right now. I am thankful that the Seed of the woman has crushed the head of the serpent and we will see the end of suffering, death and sin one day.
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